Never is better than Late.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010 11:43 PM
I just realized something, that I have changed.I realized I won't force myself or others anymore.
I realized that I can't get everything I want.
I realized I will have give up, sooner or later.
But maybe I will, give up, now.
Let what's wrong guide us,
And be gifted with new beginnings.
Let the sky be filled with dark clouds and a thunderstorm,
For which will make life unpredictable.
Let the ocean be set ablaze, by our own foolishness,
To understand the importance of it.
Let what's right drive us,
to find a perfect answer,
For there is no answer that is almighty right.
RANTS
Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:23 PM
Sorry guys, I am going to rant about stuff, again.I think it is stuck into me to blog whenever I need to vent.
Yes, I made up with the two close friends in my Sec school.
I was glad, and I still am. Its finally over! WOOOTS.
Then now, another incident happened?
I think so. After putting things back to how it was originally,
Another friend comes along, and want to tell me about someone else.
And that someone else is one of my close friend.
Now, I am speechless, how am I going to gently put her down, as well as my close friend(s)?
Its not like I want to talk about her, or even poke my nose into her stuff anymore.
But this friend commented on my fb status and WALAH,
Might cost another 'WAR'.
PRUFFF. So short live, and its in pieces, again.
N, I do not know if you are talking about me.
Leopards and spots, I kind of get it.
I knew this is going to happen, somehow or another.
Thus, I told the person to say it out in 'public', directly on the post.
I want others to know that I would like to talk about this in the public.
And not behind her back.
Another thing is, I do not want to know, I seriously don't.
I am asking myself, 'So what if I know? I can't do anything.'
But luckily, I do not receive any info from the friend.
Heng ah, at least I do not know anything.
But if I would, I rather it come directly from the party.
One more thing.
I know its hard to trust me after some incident occurred,
But I felt wronged, I didn't do anything and willn't.
But I am defined as a cheater, a liar.
I do not make amends and break them instantly.
I don't know how to put it, but it is simply;
Friends can trust each other, and I will believe that.
And it hurts to see friends doubting me and saying, 'I told you, he'll lie.'
Thats all I have now.
To everyone, please treasure your friends.
Or you will live in regrets, maybe like me!
LOL, anyways, smile and the whole world will smile with you!
CHEERS.
DEXTER!
I'm Sorry
Monday, August 23, 2010 12:08 AM
I want to get straight to the point.I know there is a saying that 'The one who apologize first, admits defeat.'
And maybe I am abiding to that.
But I am saying sorry to stop the torture on myself and others.
I believe, 'The one who says sorry first, brings best friends back to original state.'
I want to try that.
Dear N and JY.
I want to apologize to you, for handling the situation using the worst possible way.
That is to break our friendship. It has been bugging me for ages, although I said we were strangers, I do still check on your guys, cyber-ly.
I should have dealt with the situation in a more positive way.
And I just realized that once best friends, always best friends.
Even with disagreements and arguments, after a period of time, all will be alright.
I am now hoping to take a leap of faith, will you go with me?
Lets forget just what happened, and lets start a new, something that we have not given each other since then.
Remember the good times, and remember how stronger bonds are forged after some misunderstandings and disagreements.
I really do want to continue being friends.
Or more of a family, fate brought us together, and I do not want to destroy what fate has given us. A family, consists of not only blood-related persons, but also of those whom you love and love you back, unconditionally.
I treated you guys as family since sec 3/4.
And family will always be family, and I hope to keep it that way.
I hope you do accept my apology and give each party a chance again.
I hope this will turn out will, I am going to try.
Even if it don't, at least I tried my best.
Again guys, I deeply regret what I said to you guys previously.
I am sorry.
Hopeful,
DEXTER!
SHORT ONE.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 1:30 AM
Tell you what. I am afraid.
As in afraid, not of other objects, its people.
I do not want anything to flourish.
Or so I hope, I do not have any motives, and I will not give in.
So if you are, stop wasting your time, and emotions.
Got to go!
CIAOS.
ME!
Friday, August 13, 2010 12:09 AM
HEHEHEH. Ok, following marissa, I did the 'get-to-know-myself' quiz!RESULTS ARE BELOW!
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.Ok, lets just say I make judgments depending on situations. Sometimes I do take both sides, but if the other side is not available, then I will take my own stand. HOHO
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.Err. Yeah, maybe I should be more open-minded, be willing to try new stuff. But its hard to culture, I am still stuck with 'my-life-partner' theory. Maybe and maybe not, I shall see how it goes next year. 2011!
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.This is definitely true! Looks isn't everything.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.I guess so, I find spending time with some people I don't really like is just a pure waste of time.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.'Who will say no to more money?'
The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.Maybe, I like drawings, and driving my mind crazy with ideas and inspirations. THIS IS LIKE SO ME.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.Yes QUIZ. Be COURAGEOUS. Try new things? I think one is coming up! Update on that soon(hopefully).
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.AKA, things that are unknown.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.OMG, What if people come to me for all their problems? No time for games. T.T
Life's a joke, but you are one too. HEHEH.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 10:40 PM
Ok, anyway. I think that something happened, and I am laughing and totally annoyed.
Imagine getting chilled for 'doing too much work'. WTS?
LOL, apparently someone in my class got complained for that, and I felt amused.
I thought that was a joke, and I would only find it in my dreams?
Anyways, he dealt with it with a laugh, and I guess that means she lost?
Yeah, for those who know who she is, good for you, for those who don't, she is simply a bitch.
Ok, to the facts, it maybe one-sided, but at least I got some in-sights.
She and someone, talked to my class's advisor about him.
And the topic? About him doing too much work/or another doing none at all.
Then, he got called up by the advisor and had a talk with advisor.
Really, she should get a life and stop whining.
Ok, maybe I dont have the whole story, but if its true, then I think she is screwed.
FYI, I have many many things I really want to comment about her.
And its not just this incident, its about a whole load of stuff.
She is competitive, way too competitive, and at others' expenses.
I always wonder if she had always been trying to sabotage everyone else.
And by doing that, makes her more popular with the tutors.
Come on, why would she want to tell the tutors such stuff?
If she was unhappy, she should voice it out with her group, or maybe she has no authority?
'Lead with Pride.' Thats her jacket's moto, and I think she dont deserve it.
She complained that one person did too little, and now, another, too much.
So how much is 'just nice'? Can she assign tasks to each and everyone?
I think that her reasoning(if she had any) was unreasonable and stupid.
Please, if you want to be the leader or whistle blower, settle it within your group.
And totally not with the advisor, every little thing. PURFF, is she like 5?
She is also super kia-su? Really really.
Lets see, she will take down notes even if slides will be given out?
She likes to side with the teacher? She will inform the tutor about a certain project,
only if she did it. She will ask something and everything if she has the slightest doubt?
Can she be independent? Can she be a little more social?
I guess not, even if she had gotten an A for CT, she still wants to attend a class,
meant for weaker students and those in need. RIGHT.
She makes the whole class except her good friend, want to hate her.
I won't say for others, but I will dread working with her. Ohh, wait, actually I would like to.
So, I can experience how she gets things done, or not at all.
And I am affirmed to appoint a leader, and the leader shall not be her.
I want to object to her ideas, and I want tasks to be fairly distributed.
I will not give her a chance to downgrade us, so she can stand out better.
I am so going to confront her if I found out anything that she has done behind our backs.
Ohh man, I can see that she will die. LOL. CHEY.
Anyway, I will talk to her now. LOL, for the below message, its for HER.
Dear L,
I am unsure and in doubt about your actions. Are you like, trying to mark down all your group members? Or are you trying to be a little kid that can't solve anything? Either ways, I think that you are too extreme and you should think about your actions carefully. I am aware that you have someone who believes you, for now. But what if you are standing alone? I wonder how you will feel, will you dare? Personally, I am insulted by your actions. I never thought that someone could be so sly. Yes, everyone wants good marks, and can you ask yourself, have you deprived your group members what they deserve? Can't you tell that peer evaluation is to help each other? I am speechless, seriously, for I thought that you are smart, honest and reasonable. But these few incidents, really make me question myself, and especially, your character. Am I able to say that I am proud to be your classmate, or even a DPA student? I doubt so now. I am really disappointed and ashamed by you. Really, if you really want to be kai-su or so 'rigid' with your judgments, then go ahead, but I think you will get into alot of troubles. Getting good grades for yourself is a good intention, at least you are trying to do something for yourrself, but how about the others? Have you notice how you are always asking and not teaching? I am tired of explaining to you, you are not dumb, but I think you are acting as one. CHILDISH. And others deserve better, so what if you think they didnt do well? Did you, as a member of your group, talk to them in person? Did you even bother to find out their working styles and personalities? Or are you so damn right rigid with work? And to be honest, I think your group did the worst in every single project that you are involved. Seriously, if you did alot of work, then you ought to be blamed. Brush up your own standards before criticising others. PURFF.
PS: Realise I never used 'team', but instead used 'group'. I dont think she work in a team, because she doesn't make use of others strength, just her own judgment. I was kind I didn't use 'forced-groupings'. HORRIBLE.
So long everyone!! I so want to complain about her too. LOL. maybe next time!
Thanks for reading! TAGGG ME
Stupidity becomes my middle name.
Monday, August 2, 2010 7:36 PM
This shall be an emo post again.I know, projects are done, and there nothing to be emoing about.
But I do, alot of thinking have been done, and concluded.
Right lets start, but before that..
To all my friends, please dont feel offended by any content I'm about to write.
Its like my thoughts, its not to offend anyone.
But if you feel any content I should not have, tell me.
I will change, but not my thoughts.
Right, lets get it started.
I think I'm stupid. I don't know if others will agree.
I don't think I'm stupid-stupid. I think I'm busybody-stupid.
There are many things, which I had regretted doing.
But still, many similar incidents were poping up recently.
And to my stupidity, I went to poke my nose into them, again.
I guess I should scold myself for being stupid, as usual.
1 major friendship incident broke, and the outcome was bad.
But recently, I went to 'help' in a similar situation.
I bet I did/will do more harm then good.
Why am I so busybody? Why couldn't I just shut up and get along with life?
Why do I always want to help others? Why do all my efforts always backfire and I get hurt, for nothing?
Well, all in all, I am just plain stupid.
Incident 1, I somehow 'brought together' 2 people in my secondary school. I was proud of it, I felt I did something nice. I thought I ahve done all I could to help each party. And what now? I am firstly being framed of badmouthing and cooking up stories about 1 of them. And what am I to say? The person obviously believed the partner. And I just lost 2 friends like that, without any proper reasons.
Incident 2, this time, I somehow got involved with another couple in my class. I am stupid to tell the person that I can help him/her in some ways. Then I tried to ask for their opinion about each other, and tried to help them. And I was proud, again. Then I felt that something bad was coming, definitely. And today, when Incident 3 happened, I was told by everyone to chill and talk to the person nicely. And the him/her was comforting him/her about what happen. Am I a tyrant or what I don't know, cos I am stupid.
Incident 3, wah, this one epic one. I really am stupid. I went shopping,, and saw those nice and cheap and old-school watches. And suggested to the others we should get that for the clique. And so we did, and now I wish we hadn't. And its all me. We got our watches and passed to the other 2 remaining last. Somehow when he/she said 'you all sure choose le, then give me the one others don't want.', my heart sank, I knew I don't fit here, I knew I should shut up and carry on being stupid. I am not really really mad at him/her. But mad at myself for being stupid. I hate myself. Like my parents always say 'ni de gui zhu yi hen duo' which means 'your nonsensical ideas alot'. I think its true, I have to stop.
Incident 4, I am stupid, thats why I have to insult others to make myself look better. I should stop, shut up and be stupid. I don't mean to insult and badmouth about others, but I am insecure and stupid. Everyone have strengths and weaknesses, I should open up to their strengths and not their weaknesses. How dumb can I get to realise this only now? I will not insult others again, well, I will try. I need to be smarter, or I will always get myself into trouble, for nothing.
Ok, so these are what I am going to do:
I am not going to poke my nose into anything anymore. I don't care if its secrets or facts. None of my concern. I will only focus on my own problems and stuff. I will not suggest anything anymore, I don't want to be 'the one' to give ideas and end up getting hurt. Like my father said 'just be average can liao, don't ge-kiang(act-smart) and don't stand out, will do. Lastly, I shall be my normal self, and stop trying to be fun and all. The lesser the problems, the better. Still I feel stupid.
Apologies to all parties, I will not care anymore, I don't want to in fact. I shall help myself more, because I don't feel that I did much, and don't depend on others. I think that 'what is meant to be, will be' phrase is what i must adopt. I will just let things take it course, not going to interfere anymore.
Goodbye readers.
Dexter is my name. I response to Dex and Density and Dex-xy too. This is a personal blog, so please don't restrain me from expressing myself, how-so-ever. I can get cranky, I can get mad, I can be whatever I want, I can criticize, I can be nice, and last, I can be anything and everything. Welcome to my world, where life is not only ups and downs, it is also red,orange,yellow,green,blue,indigo,violet. Life is a rainbow, and sometimes a dull one, however, if we embrace it well, it will be beautiful.