Dexter is my name. I response to Dex and Density and Dex-xy too. This is a personal blog, so please don't restrain me from expressing myself, how-so-ever. I can get cranky, I can get mad, I can be whatever I want, I can criticize, I can be nice, and last, I can be anything and everything. Welcome to my world, where life is not only ups and downs, it is also red,orange,yellow,green,blue,indigo,violet. Life is a rainbow, and sometimes a dull one, however, if we embrace it well, it will be beautiful.
YAY! SCREAMS! YELL!
Ok, whatever. HAHA.
Tml is MON, but..... I STILL LOVE IT MORE THAN FRI OF LAST WEEK!
E-Learning's over, means I get my life back. YAY
Sorry guys, for not posting anything new nowadays.
Was too caught up during E-Learning week, and when I have the time, I SLACK!
Ok, now for emotional time! WOOTS.
I love this part in my every other post!
Because I get to write about my inner-thoughts.
AWESOMELY GREATTTT.
Life is pretty normal, except for other peopl like MARISSA, JOJO and JINGNING.
I am like an odd one out again! HORRIBLE GUYS!
HEHE, But I still like to be the odd one out in this!
I get my freedom to myself, and only myself. *LAUGHS AT YOU PEOPLE*
What I hate, is that I stay up at night, and I have nothing to do.
People like JOJO and MARISSA are too busy with their halfs,
and I have no one to talk to, SADDs or what. LOL.
Have I ever felt lonely? YES, I DO.
But I will not change my stand in a NO-NO to relationship yet.
Until I met someone else. (Which likely means the same one.)
What to do? I will not change my mind/heart.
Weird thing is, I wonder loaddds, if I shall follow my heart.
Our hearts are so emotional, even excitement can get it pumping HARD.
SO, why should I listen to it? Should I change my own emotions, thus my heart?
No, I wouldn't, I rather listen to what I want most, then what I want NOW.
So yeahh, I will stand firm again!
Lastly, I will not continue my COMMON EYE today, havent gotten any ideas! HAHA.
I shall contiue with it once I get my other parts ready! YAY.
Thanks for reading! CIAOS!
I LIKE TML!
Monday, May 31, 2010 12:21 AM
Trauma!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 9:19 PM
Ok, today was badd, like real baddddd.
I don't want to look at it that way, but still,
even if I do, it clearly reflects to be.
How, would I say this, lets just say its not involving me.
With scenes like those, I will never get it away my mind.
And yet, I still do not want to take sides.
Really, its not my problem, but I have this urge to step up,
and wake every participant from their delusions, slap if I may.
I am not thankful to anyone, I feel traumatized,
Feelings of phobia for conflicts surrounded me,
I am unwilling, avoiding, and excluding from every conflict I can.
Don't Try Me.
I dislike loud sounds, sudden and raising of voices.
I will not stand it, but yet, I can't remove my mind from anything, but that.
And from a friend, who commented that life will never be simple.
Parts of me are fighting to agree to this, other parts are fighting away from this ideology.
I don't want to look at it that way, but still,
even if I do, it clearly reflects to be.
How, would I say this, lets just say its not involving me.
With scenes like those, I will never get it away my mind.
And yet, I still do not want to take sides.
Really, its not my problem, but I have this urge to step up,
and wake every participant from their delusions, slap if I may.
I am not thankful to anyone, I feel traumatized,
Feelings of phobia for conflicts surrounded me,
I am unwilling, avoiding, and excluding from every conflict I can.
Don't Try Me.
I dislike loud sounds, sudden and raising of voices.
I will not stand it, but yet, I can't remove my mind from anything, but that.
And from a friend, who commented that life will never be simple.
Parts of me are fighting to agree to this, other parts are fighting away from this ideology.
For me; Life's like that, and deal with it, be it likable or not,
LISTEN to undesirable thoughts.
Alright, I suddenly have an urge to write stories, a novel?
Anyway, I will be posting the story in parts, each with a new post,
I hope it will be interesting, and don't ask me about the plot.
I have not thought of it, I am writing as my mind will allow me to.
Common Eye - P1
Mack, was there, he saw events that took place without his control.
He wanted to walk off, yet his curiosity made his legs glued to the tiled floor.
Then he stared, cold-hard, without a faintest movement of his body,
he witnessed a whole cut-scene of footage, like those you extract from a movie,
preventing the movie to look bad. Real bad.
The whole 1 minute seemed like an hour in ancient times,
where time seemed to pass way slower than it is now.
In that very spot, where Mack stood, he suddenly understood one thing;
humanity is nothing but instinct and a term to name the human species.
Maybe that event that took place would change his life forever. Maybe.
Humans that fight for self-interests are called selfish, yes, the term 'selfish',
self-ness or self-centredness. Regardless of how others think, Mack was firm,
he stood his point and analysed what he thought, he couldn't care about others.
Then he giggled, to his internal being, wondering if he was being selfish.
He knew that if he thought of humanity as pure instinct and self-ness, he would be right.
He wasn't that sort that would leave his internal thoughts unsolved, uncovered.
He went through the ideology again, this time, another elbow-implant was created.
He couldn't care less, he wanted to think it through, he only had 1 minute, although he didn't know.
---To be continued---
NEVER
Saturday, May 22, 2010 2:51 AM
Never - DEXTER!
How can I still remain?
Why is it that you never know me?
Is that even possible?
Will I never be able to move?
Or maybe you just didn't hold me enough.
And now I am drifting away,
Which directions are inter-linked.
But I do hope, I never go your way.
Because I will never want to ask those questions again.
How can I still remain?
Why is it that you never know me?
Is that even possible?
Will I never be able to move?
Or maybe you just didn't hold me enough.
And now I am drifting away,
Which directions are inter-linked.
But I do hope, I never go your way.
Because I will never want to ask those questions again.
Aftermath
Thursday, May 20, 2010 12:34 PM
Its done, period.
I just don't unerstand one part.
But I would not care right, I just want to clearify my stand.
If I were to be unhappy about that, and told you about that,
won't you do the same? telling your friends that I'm spreading rumours about you?
Anyways, I have got to stop this topic,
I need a life back. TYVM.
Supposedly - DEXTER!
Supposed to be normal,
Supposed to be uninterferred,
Supposed to be together,
Supposed to be friends.
Supposed is a word,
Supposed may not take place,
Supposed nobody did anything.
I just don't unerstand one part.
But I would not care right, I just want to clearify my stand.
If I were to be unhappy about that, and told you about that,
won't you do the same? telling your friends that I'm spreading rumours about you?
Anyways, I have got to stop this topic,
I need a life back. TYVM.
Supposedly - DEXTER!
Supposed to be normal,
Supposed to be uninterferred,
Supposed to be together,
Supposed to be friends.
Supposed is a word,
Supposed may not take place,
Supposed nobody did anything.
Thoughts after thoughts.
1:04 AM
This whole incident was raked up after 8 mths of silence.
Lets just say everyone's at fault. (involved parties only.)
And I can't say that I only played a small part.
Now, I am going to reveal what I said, mostly.
The next few( or loads) of lines are for N,
Dear N,
firstly, I am sorry to you, because I won't know that you will be so affected but it. If I knew something like this were to happen, I would have never say a word. Now to the next point, after reading your blog, I know you are disappointed in me, but can you imagine how disappointed I was with you before you and HIM even got tgt? I don't mean(and never) to spread rumours about you. I didn't OK. I only bitch about you with the group. And I swear that all I had discuss was just about how you handled your relationship. I was not happy(more of disappointment) when I saw the some of the ways you treat HIM before you got tgt. I wasn't sure if you are serious with him or not. I wanted to make sure that you are true to him. Thats why I would occasionally sit beside you or call you at nights to talk about HIM and YOU. But it kind of came to an extend where I had to tell HIM how I feel. It felt so weird to keep it inside me, I needed to tell someone. And then I came up with the idea of writing him a letter about what I thought of you then. I wasn't trying to break you guys up or anything. I merely wanted him to know what I thought of your handling of relationships, thats all. I didn't bitch about who you are or what you should and should not do. I know everyone is unique and so are you. But, if I were to just tell him, I would be the one that everyone's going to point to if you knew about it. I will be blamed for bad-monthing you etc. The contents of the letter is mend to be confidential. I know its crazy for me to write an agreement, but I had to protect myself right? I don't get any return in doing that. And I am willing to sacrifice my friendship with you, but I rather HIM not to get hurt in anyway. That's why I requested him not to tell anyone, keep this within ourselves. And today, I found out that no one knows about it, but you somehow or rather know about it. I was scared at first, I wanted our friendship to last, but I don't think that can every happen again. I needed a proof or some evidence that I did try not to let you know about this. No one likes to be insulted, in any way. Since you know the contents, it is too late for me to take back my words. It's OK, at least I did what I wanted to do, protect my good friend's feelings, by not getting him hurt via relationships. I'm not saying you are not fit to be with HIM, I just wanted him to widen his prospective before making a stand. If he still likes/loves you after what I had to say, he really likes you and don't care about himself. I guess my intentions are misunderstood again. Nevermind, at least you guys are together. And btw, I did tell him the contents of the agreement, but in a hurry to read the letter, he just signed it. But after he signed I did repeat what the terms are. And asked him if he really agrees. He said Yes. I don't know how you got the idea that he only know of the content after he signed it. Nevermind, you should believe HIM since I am a 'story-teller'. I wont be angry that no one trust me in this. I know that after I told him about you, I will be tainted by this stain, but still I would still do it even if I know this will happen, because, unlike what I said earlier, I would rather be the bad guy, you guys will last. And regarding the 'I am a story-teller' rumour, if you believe its real, then it is. You can ask all close friends around me, I have never insulted you or amphasized that 'you kissed your ex'. I thought that is so normal nowadays. And all close friends would just tell you the same thing; I have only one main point to say 'I just dont like how N treat relationships, but I still adore her as a friend.' And I did say this 'I treat N as one of the best girl-friends I have, but I would never be in a relationship with her.' Thats all, you can ask HIM, I always tell him I only dislike your ways of treat relationships. I don't know what made you say I(and with the others) bitch about you and him together. Yes, I did forecast how long you guys were be together, for I thought this relationship was a rush, and was angry at both of you for not waiting till Os are over. I felt guilty that HE got not-as-expected Os results, I thought that if I had got quiet and not be a busybody to inform you both, he would have scored better. I had high hopes for him, I also frequently tell him he would do equally or better than me in Os. I believe that. But I guess all that belief I had was just something I wished for, but I didn't get them fufilled. I did bitch about 2 things only. I wasnt happy you guys spend your saturdays in the lib doing nothing, for HIM, he is just reading comics. And another is that he never spend alot of time with us since you guys got together. I was just unhappy. But I have NEVER told anyone outside of my circle of close friends. I know its hard to believe me now, I just wanted to say that; 'One thing I will always remember for my Secondary Life, is that I brought two people together and they lasted for 9 mths now!' Happy 9mth-anni. I am not fit to say this now, but Im sorry and I wont hope for remedies, because it is all too late. It hurts to see your post that strikes me in the heart, but Im Ok with it, I am numbed already. And when I say ILY, i meant it, no matter if you believe or not, I will nv leave you guessing again, because I will nv repeat the three words eveery again. I guess this will be my farewell to you, I will never bother you again. BYE.
And to HIM,
Hi JY, I know, I am being hated now. Its Ok, as long as you guys are OK, Im proud. I lied, about not loving you guys. HAHA. Ok, im crying now and ironically I HAHA-ing. Nevermind that, I don't know what you said to N, but I will still believe you won't spread rumours about me telling 'stories' I did not. If I did, I would admit it, seriously. About the agreement thing, I lied too, I had already throw it away since the day I you signed it, its just that I didnt tell anyone, in the previous post, I just wanted you to reflect on what I said 8 mths ago. But it failed as usual. HAHA, I just wanted an apology from you, but I dont think I will ever have the right to ask for it anymore. Don't worry, I will never. Despite what I said about you guys, you just ignored me and continue till even now! 9mths is long, 3x my expected. NICE. HAHA. I want to believe that you told N about the content of the letter word for word, or close to. I don't know why you brought it up after so long, but I respect your decision. I knew one day this would happen, so the agreement was just to prelong it. Luckily you only told HER recently, after we are in POLY, thanks for prolonging it. Don't tell me about what you said to her. And worst, don't tell me what you said to her that you wasn't sure if I had said it or not. Ok, I believe that you will never. I'm just writing it down as a last letter. Yah, after this post, I will never disturb you guys every again, I am tired and don't want to see some of my intentions to lead to misunderstandings again. It was really nice to meet a great friend like you, then(this is the last letter). I really enjoyed your company and didn't regret anything we done together. Thanks for the 4 years, and now we must move on. I would like to always tell you what I feel you should do (then and up to 2am on 20/5/10), because I dont want yo to regret your decision and then tell me why didn't I tell you this. But again, by telling you so many things, these would happen, but still, every word I said to you is based on that reason above. I have to be very firm in this, I will not change my mind, if its rubbish to you, then its OK to ignore this post, but I just don't wish to exclude anything for the last letter. I have to face up to consequences and the best thing is GOODBYE. BYE.
To BOTH of YOU,
I am sorry for all I have said but never regretful. I will not continue anymore of this anymore, so don't worry. So in my final goodbye, I will like to say that Im very touched that you guys rmbed my BDAE and got me a pressie! But I do still owe you each a pressie. I guess it will never be neccessary for that anymore. I will rmb you guys by that day you got me a pressie in MAC. Thanks for this memory. I will not forget.But thats the end of the memories, I will not recieve anymore.
To H,
I'm sorry for speaking to you like that just now. But I wanted to make a stand, that I'm disappointed because of rumours ,that regards me, our friendship can be broken. No matter if you agree or not, I concluded its better not to see each other again, so its alright Im deleted from your fb. I will remember you as the time whr you bought me cheesefries from bbtea shop when I had no $$ to eat. Thanks. and BYE.
To A,
I don't want to know your side of agruement, but its better that we dont stay in contact after this incident, it will be awkard. Im sorry but this is goodbye. I will remember you as taking 185 with me and we were happy chatting. BYE.
I have finished what I have to say, I wouldn't care about any of your actions or behaviour anymore. Its your rights to live, but I do hope you do great in life. Good luck and this is goodbye. I will never want to say goodbye to anyone every again. So I hope this will be the last goodbye to anyone Im giving. GOODBYE, BEST OF LUCK.
-ddExtEr.
Lets just say everyone's at fault. (involved parties only.)
And I can't say that I only played a small part.
Now, I am going to reveal what I said, mostly.
The next few( or loads) of lines are for N,
Dear N,
firstly, I am sorry to you, because I won't know that you will be so affected but it. If I knew something like this were to happen, I would have never say a word. Now to the next point, after reading your blog, I know you are disappointed in me, but can you imagine how disappointed I was with you before you and HIM even got tgt? I don't mean(and never) to spread rumours about you. I didn't OK. I only bitch about you with the group. And I swear that all I had discuss was just about how you handled your relationship. I was not happy(more of disappointment) when I saw the some of the ways you treat HIM before you got tgt. I wasn't sure if you are serious with him or not. I wanted to make sure that you are true to him. Thats why I would occasionally sit beside you or call you at nights to talk about HIM and YOU. But it kind of came to an extend where I had to tell HIM how I feel. It felt so weird to keep it inside me, I needed to tell someone. And then I came up with the idea of writing him a letter about what I thought of you then. I wasn't trying to break you guys up or anything. I merely wanted him to know what I thought of your handling of relationships, thats all. I didn't bitch about who you are or what you should and should not do. I know everyone is unique and so are you. But, if I were to just tell him, I would be the one that everyone's going to point to if you knew about it. I will be blamed for bad-monthing you etc. The contents of the letter is mend to be confidential. I know its crazy for me to write an agreement, but I had to protect myself right? I don't get any return in doing that. And I am willing to sacrifice my friendship with you, but I rather HIM not to get hurt in anyway. That's why I requested him not to tell anyone, keep this within ourselves. And today, I found out that no one knows about it, but you somehow or rather know about it. I was scared at first, I wanted our friendship to last, but I don't think that can every happen again. I needed a proof or some evidence that I did try not to let you know about this. No one likes to be insulted, in any way. Since you know the contents, it is too late for me to take back my words. It's OK, at least I did what I wanted to do, protect my good friend's feelings, by not getting him hurt via relationships. I'm not saying you are not fit to be with HIM, I just wanted him to widen his prospective before making a stand. If he still likes/loves you after what I had to say, he really likes you and don't care about himself. I guess my intentions are misunderstood again. Nevermind, at least you guys are together. And btw, I did tell him the contents of the agreement, but in a hurry to read the letter, he just signed it. But after he signed I did repeat what the terms are. And asked him if he really agrees. He said Yes. I don't know how you got the idea that he only know of the content after he signed it. Nevermind, you should believe HIM since I am a 'story-teller'. I wont be angry that no one trust me in this. I know that after I told him about you, I will be tainted by this stain, but still I would still do it even if I know this will happen, because, unlike what I said earlier, I would rather be the bad guy, you guys will last. And regarding the 'I am a story-teller' rumour, if you believe its real, then it is. You can ask all close friends around me, I have never insulted you or amphasized that 'you kissed your ex'. I thought that is so normal nowadays. And all close friends would just tell you the same thing; I have only one main point to say 'I just dont like how N treat relationships, but I still adore her as a friend.' And I did say this 'I treat N as one of the best girl-friends I have, but I would never be in a relationship with her.' Thats all, you can ask HIM, I always tell him I only dislike your ways of treat relationships. I don't know what made you say I(and with the others) bitch about you and him together. Yes, I did forecast how long you guys were be together, for I thought this relationship was a rush, and was angry at both of you for not waiting till Os are over. I felt guilty that HE got not-as-expected Os results, I thought that if I had got quiet and not be a busybody to inform you both, he would have scored better. I had high hopes for him, I also frequently tell him he would do equally or better than me in Os. I believe that. But I guess all that belief I had was just something I wished for, but I didn't get them fufilled. I did bitch about 2 things only. I wasnt happy you guys spend your saturdays in the lib doing nothing, for HIM, he is just reading comics. And another is that he never spend alot of time with us since you guys got together. I was just unhappy. But I have NEVER told anyone outside of my circle of close friends. I know its hard to believe me now, I just wanted to say that; 'One thing I will always remember for my Secondary Life, is that I brought two people together and they lasted for 9 mths now!' Happy 9mth-anni. I am not fit to say this now, but Im sorry and I wont hope for remedies, because it is all too late. It hurts to see your post that strikes me in the heart, but Im Ok with it, I am numbed already. And when I say ILY, i meant it, no matter if you believe or not, I will nv leave you guessing again, because I will nv repeat the three words eveery again. I guess this will be my farewell to you, I will never bother you again. BYE.
And to HIM,
Hi JY, I know, I am being hated now. Its Ok, as long as you guys are OK, Im proud. I lied, about not loving you guys. HAHA. Ok, im crying now and ironically I HAHA-ing. Nevermind that, I don't know what you said to N, but I will still believe you won't spread rumours about me telling 'stories' I did not. If I did, I would admit it, seriously. About the agreement thing, I lied too, I had already throw it away since the day I you signed it, its just that I didnt tell anyone, in the previous post, I just wanted you to reflect on what I said 8 mths ago. But it failed as usual. HAHA, I just wanted an apology from you, but I dont think I will ever have the right to ask for it anymore. Don't worry, I will never. Despite what I said about you guys, you just ignored me and continue till even now! 9mths is long, 3x my expected. NICE. HAHA. I want to believe that you told N about the content of the letter word for word, or close to. I don't know why you brought it up after so long, but I respect your decision. I knew one day this would happen, so the agreement was just to prelong it. Luckily you only told HER recently, after we are in POLY, thanks for prolonging it. Don't tell me about what you said to her. And worst, don't tell me what you said to her that you wasn't sure if I had said it or not. Ok, I believe that you will never. I'm just writing it down as a last letter. Yah, after this post, I will never disturb you guys every again, I am tired and don't want to see some of my intentions to lead to misunderstandings again. It was really nice to meet a great friend like you, then(this is the last letter). I really enjoyed your company and didn't regret anything we done together. Thanks for the 4 years, and now we must move on. I would like to always tell you what I feel you should do (then and up to 2am on 20/5/10), because I dont want yo to regret your decision and then tell me why didn't I tell you this. But again, by telling you so many things, these would happen, but still, every word I said to you is based on that reason above. I have to be very firm in this, I will not change my mind, if its rubbish to you, then its OK to ignore this post, but I just don't wish to exclude anything for the last letter. I have to face up to consequences and the best thing is GOODBYE. BYE.
To BOTH of YOU,
I am sorry for all I have said but never regretful. I will not continue anymore of this anymore, so don't worry. So in my final goodbye, I will like to say that Im very touched that you guys rmbed my BDAE and got me a pressie! But I do still owe you each a pressie. I guess it will never be neccessary for that anymore. I will rmb you guys by that day you got me a pressie in MAC. Thanks for this memory. I will not forget.But thats the end of the memories, I will not recieve anymore.
To H,
I'm sorry for speaking to you like that just now. But I wanted to make a stand, that I'm disappointed because of rumours ,that regards me, our friendship can be broken. No matter if you agree or not, I concluded its better not to see each other again, so its alright Im deleted from your fb. I will remember you as the time whr you bought me cheesefries from bbtea shop when I had no $$ to eat. Thanks. and BYE.
To A,
I don't want to know your side of agruement, but its better that we dont stay in contact after this incident, it will be awkard. Im sorry but this is goodbye. I will remember you as taking 185 with me and we were happy chatting. BYE.
I have finished what I have to say, I wouldn't care about any of your actions or behaviour anymore. Its your rights to live, but I do hope you do great in life. Good luck and this is goodbye. I will never want to say goodbye to anyone every again. So I hope this will be the last goodbye to anyone Im giving. GOODBYE, BEST OF LUCK.
-ddExtEr.
TRY ME, SERIOUSLY.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 8:14 PM
I'm going to get all my shits back.
Scores settled with all others.
AWWWWh, touched, but no, thank you very much.
I was wondering; I can't read it, so what, there's called a translator. ^.^
Yes Yes, facebook for the win.
Agruements, Chit-Chat, Commenting, can be done so easily.
And yet people decided to use it for conflicts creation.
So awesome isn't it? People might get maddd. OHHH.
I'm ok, tyvm. If its just that matter. I'm like whatever.
It don't really matter anymore, it's in the past.
Say whatever and whenever you guys want.
Why should I be even affected at whatever I'm called.
It's not as if anyone would get madd when the person(me) reads it.
So please, stop trying to entertain me with your online jokes.
I know its free entertainment, but still, I guess I am liable to read it, yeah.
And by the way, physical means, as so you(they) speak.
If you(they) want to solve this matter via violence, be my guest.
Because, it won't matter to me, its you(they) who will be affected the most.
I'm sorry but please entertain me more. I can't hope more than to read jokes.
Anyways, to the boy-in-hiding, I'm happy you did what you did.
I learnt to smile at what happened and not frown.
Anyways, challenges are formed only when its turned against you.
So thank you for trying to help me improve myself. (I'm so gald you care.)
And with results to that, I have just thought back to the past, since you want to talk about it,
that an agreement was supposedly written and accepted by you.
Keyword: SUPPOSEDLY. tyvm.
If you want to breach it,(which you already had), do as you deem fit.
I didn't know, until now, that I have to go get back that piece of paper,(which I deemed to be useless, then)
to question you. I don't want to do that, for I believe friendships lie on more than a piece of paper.
And terms arn't supposed to be turned against each other.
But whatever, since you don't care, I shouldn't too. CIAOS.
And to those who are not directly involved in this, I'm glad that you care for you friend.
Am also happy for that friend who has pillars of strength to relay on.
I admire those friends in these times of need. Even if used against me.
Its really funny how things work out right?
With a few words, the tables will turn so differently.
Anyway, believe in what you trust, even if it not the truth.
That's what makes life a dim more interesting.
And to person-invloved;
I'm also glad we are not in the same institution. How GLAD.
And what happened to: Thanks for XXX XXXX XXX for telling me the truth?
Whatever happened to that was weird, replaced by dashed-out-words-of wisdom.
PS: Confrontation will be interesting. A few of us(as you mentioned as 'them') will also like to sit in this confrontation. We just want to request something, please call boy-in-hiding along. TYVM. We are ok whenever you(they) are. So do, inform me. THANKS.
Yet another persons-targeted POST. Life is challenging, but I like it.
Thanks for reading.
Scores settled with all others.
AWWWWh, touched, but no, thank you very much.
I was wondering; I can't read it, so what, there's called a translator. ^.^
Yes Yes, facebook for the win.
Agruements, Chit-Chat, Commenting, can be done so easily.
And yet people decided to use it for conflicts creation.
So awesome isn't it? People might get maddd. OHHH.
I'm ok, tyvm. If its just that matter. I'm like whatever.
It don't really matter anymore, it's in the past.
Say whatever and whenever you guys want.
Why should I be even affected at whatever I'm called.
It's not as if anyone would get madd when the person(me) reads it.
So please, stop trying to entertain me with your online jokes.
I know its free entertainment, but still, I guess I am liable to read it, yeah.
And by the way, physical means, as so you(they) speak.
If you(they) want to solve this matter via violence, be my guest.
Because, it won't matter to me, its you(they) who will be affected the most.
I'm sorry but please entertain me more. I can't hope more than to read jokes.
Anyways, to the boy-in-hiding, I'm happy you did what you did.
I learnt to smile at what happened and not frown.
Anyways, challenges are formed only when its turned against you.
So thank you for trying to help me improve myself. (I'm so gald you care.)
And with results to that, I have just thought back to the past, since you want to talk about it,
that an agreement was supposedly written and accepted by you.
Keyword: SUPPOSEDLY. tyvm.
If you want to breach it,(which you already had), do as you deem fit.
I didn't know, until now, that I have to go get back that piece of paper,(which I deemed to be useless, then)
to question you. I don't want to do that, for I believe friendships lie on more than a piece of paper.
And terms arn't supposed to be turned against each other.
But whatever, since you don't care, I shouldn't too. CIAOS.
And to those who are not directly involved in this, I'm glad that you care for you friend.
Am also happy for that friend who has pillars of strength to relay on.
I admire those friends in these times of need. Even if used against me.
Its really funny how things work out right?
With a few words, the tables will turn so differently.
Anyway, believe in what you trust, even if it not the truth.
That's what makes life a dim more interesting.
And to person-invloved;
I'm also glad we are not in the same institution. How GLAD.
And what happened to: Thanks for XXX XXXX XXX for telling me the truth?
Whatever happened to that was weird, replaced by dashed-out-words-of wisdom.
PS: Confrontation will be interesting. A few of us(as you mentioned as 'them') will also like to sit in this confrontation. We just want to request something, please call boy-in-hiding along. TYVM. We are ok whenever you(they) are. So do, inform me. THANKS.
Yet another persons-targeted POST. Life is challenging, but I like it.
Thanks for reading.
REPLYS 18/5
10:01 AM
Your blog where got not interesting! RAWR, don't angry me ok! you want angry go slap GJY! HAHAHAHA. ILY!!Hope you do well in poly oso ok! HEHE, then we go U tgt! so happpppyyyyy.
REPLYS 17/5
Monday, May 17, 2010 12:16 PM
Of course lah, I so ZAI! HAHAHA, OKOK. I will be the best! HEHE.
AWWWW, thanks guys, I know I know. I shouldn't be so negative about myself ok! But I really hope we make it big! HAHA, tell me whenever I sound weird ok! I want to know which types of songs I cmi! Like chinese! unless I can read. LOL. Listen to my song! HAHA. Titled, FOREVER.
DJJM rules.
Sunday, May 16, 2010 11:26 PM
Saturday, DJJM made a stand.
Saturday, DJJM made my day.
I say TRY US, because we are daring and enthusiastic.
We can make it even though people say we can't.
And no matter how disgraceful we are, we dare to post it.
OMG, how I just love them.
Additionally, I am grateful to them, I am the worst singer in DJJM!
But yet they didn't kick me out, like I expect I would be.
Yet at times I wonder if I should quit, I am afriad of pulling them down.
I want them to make it, not so much of me.
I am willing to step out if I really spoiling their image, or rather, OUR image.
I don't know, I am unsure. I don't know what to do.
I see many other potential classmates, but not me.
I think I am the worst singer in class, my voice sounds boring and horrible.
Now I can't help but think of what they think of me.
Do they think they would do better without me?
Will they want me around? Am I really capable?
Shall I still stay on, with my horrible singing?
Shall they include other people and not me?
I really don't want to 'damage' them. I want them to make it!
And speaking of making it, the dream of being called up for performance
is a dream that I still and will hold on to, but with me around, the dream seem so distant.
That will always remain a dream, and that is a dream for all four of us.
Can I don't spoil them, can I make DJJM! proud?
That I don't know, but I really want to.
I want their honest opinions, if I really cannot make it, I rather they take singers like FELIX.
I am incomparable, to Felix and JOJO.
Both of them are like icons people won't miss out.
As for me, I will always remain a calefare, and maybe I like it that way.
I can stil be a part of DJJM!, although the name may be changed, like FJJM! or JJM!
I can help compose new songs? And even logistics stuff for the group.
I don't know, but please guys, if you are reading this, I am not trying to quit,
I'm just thinking of OUR group as a whole, you guys have potential,
And I don't want to be that black horse that pull you guys down.
I will be alright, so please tell me what I should do ok?
And I really want to thank you for the past 2 weeks when we video-ed loads.
Really LOVE you guys, for standing my horrible voice and weird personality.
I will never change my attitude to you guys whatever your decisions may be.
I am happy to be part of DJJM! loads of fun and laughters!
I want to see the group grow and become something in NP, at least.
It will be a memoriable thing to look back even after graduating from NP.
At least we can say we meant something to the school.
So yeah, I shall end it here. Looking forward to hearing more from DJJM!
Tell me soon, yeah?
We are the D, DOUBLE-J,M! D-J-J-M!
Saturday, DJJM made my day.
I say TRY US, because we are daring and enthusiastic.
We can make it even though people say we can't.
And no matter how disgraceful we are, we dare to post it.
OMG, how I just love them.
Additionally, I am grateful to them, I am the worst singer in DJJM!
But yet they didn't kick me out, like I expect I would be.
Yet at times I wonder if I should quit, I am afriad of pulling them down.
I want them to make it, not so much of me.
I am willing to step out if I really spoiling their image, or rather, OUR image.
I don't know, I am unsure. I don't know what to do.
I see many other potential classmates, but not me.
I think I am the worst singer in class, my voice sounds boring and horrible.
Now I can't help but think of what they think of me.
Do they think they would do better without me?
Will they want me around? Am I really capable?
Shall I still stay on, with my horrible singing?
Shall they include other people and not me?
I really don't want to 'damage' them. I want them to make it!
And speaking of making it, the dream of being called up for performance
is a dream that I still and will hold on to, but with me around, the dream seem so distant.
That will always remain a dream, and that is a dream for all four of us.
Can I don't spoil them, can I make DJJM! proud?
That I don't know, but I really want to.
I want their honest opinions, if I really cannot make it, I rather they take singers like FELIX.
I am incomparable, to Felix and JOJO.
Both of them are like icons people won't miss out.
As for me, I will always remain a calefare, and maybe I like it that way.
I can stil be a part of DJJM!, although the name may be changed, like FJJM! or JJM!
I can help compose new songs? And even logistics stuff for the group.
I don't know, but please guys, if you are reading this, I am not trying to quit,
I'm just thinking of OUR group as a whole, you guys have potential,
And I don't want to be that black horse that pull you guys down.
I will be alright, so please tell me what I should do ok?
And I really want to thank you for the past 2 weeks when we video-ed loads.
Really LOVE you guys, for standing my horrible voice and weird personality.
I will never change my attitude to you guys whatever your decisions may be.
I am happy to be part of DJJM! loads of fun and laughters!
I want to see the group grow and become something in NP, at least.
It will be a memoriable thing to look back even after graduating from NP.
At least we can say we meant something to the school.
So yeah, I shall end it here. Looking forward to hearing more from DJJM!
Tell me soon, yeah?
We are the D, DOUBLE-J,M! D-J-J-M!
Try me.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 2:11 PM
Today was a short day, so as I think.
Usually it was such a drag, it has already been 5 hours in school.
And I am still feeling high and going! YAY.
Maybe I am getting used to the normal school days already.
Now, I am wondering what I should do after this BLAW lecture.
Hrm, I want to stay back and chill! YAY.
FeaturingD-DOUBLE-J-M! DJJM!
Its a new group, which has not been confirm yet!
Consisting of mainly me, jojo, jn, and marissa. Things we are doing : undefined.
HAHA, I bet it would be fun, but I was questioning if the others will be happy.
Anyway, lets jsut try to have fun! They can be our audience! YEAH.
Because, according to JOJO, he wants to sing! COVERS!
HAHA, I hope to do one cover for each W01s!
SO exciting! We finished YY's! Check my fb vids! YIYING FANS!
I want to see our music(i think) around the campus! LIKE COOL.
I also want to try mugging, I know, its weird that I am saying this.
But still, I dont know if I should do that, I am still deciding.
Anyways, my life nowadays are fun and stupid-making nice!
YAY, but life is cruel, I realised there are tests! HAHA.
Ok, I shall turn around and slack now.
Thanks for reading. YAY!
It's being ages, haven't it?
Usually it was such a drag, it has already been 5 hours in school.
And I am still feeling high and going! YAY.
Maybe I am getting used to the normal school days already.
Now, I am wondering what I should do after this BLAW lecture.
Hrm, I want to stay back and chill! YAY.
Featuring
Its a new group, which has not been confirm yet!
Consisting of mainly me, jojo, jn, and marissa. Things we are doing : undefined.
HAHA, I bet it would be fun, but I was questioning if the others will be happy.
Anyway, lets jsut try to have fun! They can be our audience! YEAH.
Because, according to JOJO, he wants to sing! COVERS!
HAHA, I hope to do one cover for each W01s!
SO exciting! We finished YY's! Check my fb vids! YIYING FANS!
I want to see our music(i think) around the campus! LIKE COOL.
I also want to try mugging, I know, its weird that I am saying this.
But still, I dont know if I should do that, I am still deciding.
Anyways, my life nowadays are fun and stupid-making nice!
YAY, but life is cruel, I realised there are tests! HAHA.
Ok, I shall turn around and slack now.
Thanks for reading. YAY!
It's being ages, haven't it?
REPLYS 13/5
2:09 PM
I miss you too audrey! RAWR. Meet for lunch/dinner! WHEN?! HAAH.
HI! My name is DEXTER. WE ARE DJ!
HIHI! WEEEE, you oso got read my blog! touched ttm! WEEE.
ANGUST by DEXTER!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 7:01 PM
Angust is like a rain of arrows,
Angust is almost moulded from hate,
Angust isn't just angry, it is also character,
Angust is misleading, led to truth or lies,
Angust is anger, with helplessness that cannot be evaded,
Angust is hate, that kind with no relation to love,
Angust is a pain, a horrible heartache,
Angust is misunderstanding between people,
Angust is also love which regards to hate,
Angust is peace, for the better man,
Angust is just plain TORTURE and LOVE, all at the same time.
And so, the cycle repeats,
Love => Jealousy => Hate => Pain => Angust =>Bonds => Love
Angust is almost moulded from hate,
Angust isn't just angry, it is also character,
Angust is misleading, led to truth or lies,
Angust is anger, with helplessness that cannot be evaded,
Angust is hate, that kind with no relation to love,
Angust is a pain, a horrible heartache,
Angust is misunderstanding between people,
Angust is also love which regards to hate,
Angust is peace, for the better man,
Angust is just plain TORTURE and LOVE, all at the same time.
And so, the cycle repeats,
Love => Jealousy => Hate => Pain => Angust =>Bonds => Love
REPLYS! 12/5
2:09 PM
YO CHERYL! You read my blog, I so touched!
HI U-Gnix! HEHEHEHEHE, READ MY BLOG OK!
HI! HEHE, I prefer dex than ss!
I no stupid! Cos you stupidier! Cos mine too cool for your eyes!
Tagboard for me! YAY! See, i got show ok! Marissa more lame! NO LIMBS!
HI! I WIN YOU.
SPACES.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010 11:53 PM
I am happy with my new layout for my blog!
YAY! Simple is nice, also, many friends want to lead a simple live!
I want a simple life, but with complicated situations.
With that, my life will be simple yet interesting!
COLOURS!
Today is tuesday, a typical afternoon day, with lessons from 1-5.
However, I made it to campus at around 930.
And GEK,JN, and JASON, was at the busstop waiting for me.
I was of course PS, but still, we walked(hiked) to ourspace@72!
I wanted to do my BMGT tutorial questions, but got hooked to ICYTOWER.
I was OK with it lahh, but suddenly I got scared, like real scared.
When MARISSA, came, we(the girls and I) talked about studying.
Then we were telling JN what was thr to study, and like drawing her not to.
She suddenly shouted at us, she became ANGRY.
We went quiet, I was reflecting, and thought it was my fault.
Because I was the one who asked them to come early to do work.
And I was also the one to play, I fail-ed like TEN FOLDS.
I should start treating the meetup as a study group le!
And start mugging, which obviously I have not.
Life in NP is getting interesting, freshies having BCOMM presentations,
they look so dashing/pretty in their formal wear!
How I hope I would wear them! But I hate formal wear, especially the TUCK INs.
Oh well, I should just cover with a blazer for the next presentation!
I so SMART. ;3
Life has gone interesting because of another incident, on-going!
Battle for LOVE. Not me duhh, its between friends who I know.
So weird, I feel like disgusted, due to certain events.
I don't know what my heart is going to decide, which side(s) do I deem to be right?
Or who is behind puppeting other people? I am like in an angust.
I hope the hurricane/typhoon/monsoon pass fast.
If not I will be given duties to perform during this period of time.
STUPID, STUPID.
HAHA, but I don't mind if I get the gits of the (show).
So yeah, I want it to end fast,simple, yet abstract in its own ways.
Speaking of which, I realise SPACEs between people are important.
Not gap kind of spaces, more towards the person space area.
I believe that once others get into a person's personal space,
that person will fell turned off by the others.
Maybe everyone should let loose of the grips on people's time and privacy.
And to make things better, I think everyone should talk things out asap.
When at the beginning stage, it's easier to handle than waiting for a mountain to grow.
Time for me to leave this world-shrinking tool, called the INTERNET, tyvm.
I shall head to bed and rest loads.
LASTLY, I AM HAPPY-BOII! ELMO's WORLD.
YAY! Simple is nice, also, many friends want to lead a simple live!
I want a simple life, but with complicated situations.
With that, my life will be simple yet interesting!
COLOURS!
Today is tuesday, a typical afternoon day, with lessons from 1-5.
However, I made it to campus at around 930.
And GEK,JN, and JASON, was at the busstop waiting for me.
I was of course PS, but still, we walked(hiked) to ourspace@72!
I wanted to do my BMGT tutorial questions, but got hooked to ICYTOWER.
I was OK with it lahh, but suddenly I got scared, like real scared.
When MARISSA, came, we(the girls and I) talked about studying.
Then we were telling JN what was thr to study, and like drawing her not to.
She suddenly shouted at us, she became ANGRY.
We went quiet, I was reflecting, and thought it was my fault.
Because I was the one who asked them to come early to do work.
And I was also the one to play, I fail-ed like TEN FOLDS.
I should start treating the meetup as a study group le!
And start mugging, which obviously I have not.
Life in NP is getting interesting, freshies having BCOMM presentations,
they look so dashing/pretty in their formal wear!
How I hope I would wear them! But I hate formal wear, especially the TUCK INs.
Oh well, I should just cover with a blazer for the next presentation!
I so SMART. ;3
Life has gone interesting because of another incident, on-going!
Battle for LOVE. Not me duhh, its between friends who I know.
So weird, I feel like disgusted, due to certain events.
I don't know what my heart is going to decide, which side(s) do I deem to be right?
Or who is behind puppeting other people? I am like in an angust.
I hope the hurricane/typhoon/monsoon pass fast.
If not I will be given duties to perform during this period of time.
STUPID, STUPID.
HAHA, but I don't mind if I get the gits of the (show).
So yeah, I want it to end fast,simple, yet abstract in its own ways.
Speaking of which, I realise SPACEs between people are important.
Not gap kind of spaces, more towards the person space area.
I believe that once others get into a person's personal space,
that person will fell turned off by the others.
Maybe everyone should let loose of the grips on people's time and privacy.
And to make things better, I think everyone should talk things out asap.
When at the beginning stage, it's easier to handle than waiting for a mountain to grow.
Time for me to leave this world-shrinking tool, called the INTERNET, tyvm.
I shall head to bed and rest loads.
LASTLY, I AM HAPPY-BOII! ELMO's WORLD.
Thursday, May 6, 2010 11:29 PM
The Unbeatable - DEXTER!
I won't die when I'm told to,
I won't give up even I know that there's no hope,
I won't feel when I am suppose to,
I won't hinder my thoughts when the sky is grey,
I won't smile unless I see you,
I won't lie when I say I love you,
I won't sing when I'm scolded,
I won't dance without you around,
I won't think if I want,
I just DO,
Because I'm unbeatable.
I won't give up even I know that there's no hope,
I won't feel when I am suppose to,
I won't hinder my thoughts when the sky is grey,
I won't smile unless I see you,
I won't lie when I say I love you,
I won't sing when I'm scolded,
I won't dance without you around,
I won't think if I want,
I just DO,
Because I'm unbeatable.
I HAD MY FILL.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010 1:28 AM
Okay, school was a bore.
Imagine listening to lectures that you can't shout qns or ans.
Imagine a blank page on my mind and FB on my lappie.
Imagine horrible tutors with status egoistic-ness.
Ok, since thats life in POLY.
Then I should just deal with it.
Since whatever I imagine are real, no bluffs and accurate.
I should just give a open mind to stuff from now on.
I WILL WORK HARD!
It wouldn't be too late to realise this I hope.
Being slacking for the past few MONTHS.
I HAD MY FILL, time to bring on the dillegence.
Actually, starting tomorrow, I will be busy.
As in real busy, with CCAs and TESTs coming up.
I bet I have to work double-ly hard,
and I need to meet them for study groups!
Its ok! DEXTER IS RIGHT.
HE CAN DO IT. Rightt.
Self-motivation just failed, like WIN kind of fail.
But neh-mind, I AM WINNER.
BTW, FORMSPRING ME @
THE REAL DREAM. -DEXTER!
If I were to hold on to these memories,
Would you hold on to them with me?
And if I were to call out those moments,
Will I see you in them?
And then after I swam in my dreams,
Will that be just a dream and never reality?
If I were to never have fallen,
Will I even be here crying my heart out?
And what if I dreamt a dream,
Will you fufil it to the end with me?
If I could cry you a river,
Will you be mine in reality?